If you do not…

I hadn’t even thought about what to write for today’s post before I came across this online.  I read it and moved on since I was looking for something else but I ended up abandoning my original search to come back to this.

I think it is very easy for us to say that if you would hard that you can get anything or be anyone you want.  For the most part, I believe that is true with a few exceptions, not all of us are going into the NFL or NBA, there are a select few that become President of the United States, jobs like Astronaut and movie star are in the same category.  Every four years we watch athletes come together for the Olympics, we hear of their stories, their struggles, hardwork and triumphs.  Sometimes it’s hard to watch because not everyone can win.  They all work hard, maybe the difference between first and second place is due to natural talent, a better coach, better training facilities or even just that on that given day one person was better than everyone else.

For most of us, being the best has more to do with being the best we can be rather than the best in the world on the Olympic stage.  Although being the best person you can be is a rough road too.  There are so many variables in any person’s life with family, friends, work, school, church, politics, the list goes on.  And not anyone person is dealing with the same issues as the person next to them.  Sometimes at the end of the day it’s hard to think beyond where we are right now.  Sometimes the exhaustion is too much to even think beyond a few hours of sleep.

Sully works at a job that isn’t very rewarding, it pays the bills and he is able to work from home several days a week so he stays.  He knows that to break into anything else at this point would be difficult, it would be a massive pay cut and starting over from the beginning is not his favorite option.  I have suggested in the past that he look into other options that he can maybe work on at night.  Sully’s reply in the past was that once he gets home he really doesn’t want to work more.  More recently he had mentioned working on some stuff in his free time, if he can work that into something that it is fulfilling then I am all for it.

Sometimes it’s hard to ask questions because it seems like all we have been told is no.  It becomes such a habit to automatically think, “there is no use asking, they’re just going to say no anyway.”  Some of us grew up with parents, teachers or other people in authority that repeatedly said no and that is a difficult thing to get over.  My parents were very supportive of creative, academic and athletic endeavors and that was great.  They weren’t the best about encouraging social interaction.  I wasn’t able to go do a lot of stuff with friends on the weekend because there was always some project that needed to be done at home.  I eventually got to the point where I would just tell people no without even asking my parents because I was sick of getting my hopes and then told no.  I got lucky a few times because my dad was a teacher at my high school and would hear about events and ask me if I was planning on going.  When that happened I was usually allowed to go.  The biggest surprise was the Senior Trip, it was a three day trip to California, a day at the beach, a day at Sea World and a day at Disneyland.  Dad asked me if I was wanting to go, I really wanted to go to Disneyland.  He talked to my mom and apparently my grandmother because that was my graduation gift from her.  

Now when I need to ask a question I tell myself that the worst thing that can happen is that the answer will be no.  If the person wants to add more that I don’t want to hear then I can walk away or hang up the phone or delete the email.  I try not to waste my time worrying about what people like that think.  It’s not worth the effort, most of the people will never be happy.

And were back to moving forward… my blog post from January 9th is titled ‘Moving Forward…’  It’s an important thing to remember, we all need to keep moving forward.   Often we find that there is too much going on and we get stuck, the best thing we can do is just move forward.  Sometimes just taking a deep breath and letting go of the stress can do it.  Letting go of the past and those things that can’t be controlled can be like lifting the anchor so you can continue on.  After a while  you can start plotting your course and begin to move toward something specific.  It’s a great moment when you realize that you are on your way to a place you want to be.


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