Permission…

I am often surprised after finishing a project. Usually it’s a project that I have put off for months, possibly years.  My surprise comes from how quick and easy the project ended up being.  I put off making a cornice box over our kitchen window for the longest time and it took less than an hour to make.  It took longer to sew the valance for the cornice box.  

There have been several other projects that have gone the same way.  I cut a cat door into the garage and moved the litter boxes out of the house.  We had those weird sliding doors in the bedrooms that overlapped cutting off easy access to that middle part of the garage, I removed them in Boo’s room and put up a curtain.  I ended up doing the same in the third bedroom.  It really helped, it was much easier to get into the closet and it made the room look bigger.  I could name a few other projects but that’s not the point.

The point is that I have put off taking care of me for far too long.  Just like these projects I have seen myself as a project that was overwhelming.  The “me” project was going to take too long.  It’s too involved.  There’s no foreseeable end.   Too much time and effort.  I need to focus on Sully, Boo, or (insert name here).   There are so many more important things that I need to fix first.

I had thought of all of the excuses to not take care of me.  This year I am thinking about all of the reasons that I should take care of me.  It’s not overwhelming, I can make small changes along the way.  There is no time limit, I am a work in progress.  I need to take care of me so that I can help everyone else.  The hardest… I am important, my well being is important not only to me but to everyone around me.

It was easy to write those reasons but it will take some time before they sink in.  I will continue to repeat them to myself until I believe it.  It is clear to me that it will be a struggle some days.  I am giving myself permission to focus on myself.  I am starting to realize that a better me will be more helpful to Boo and Sully.  It makes sense that a healthier, stronger and more well rested me would be better prepared to face the challenges in our lives.

I’ve realized this past year that I really want to make this change not only for me but also for Boo.  I watched my mom put everyone ahead of herself time and time again.  I understand it and of course, I see myself doing it now.  The problem is that over time she became fairly bitter about it.  The other side effect of her ignoring her needs is that she never went to the doctor and her health suffered.  I want Boo to learn that it’s important to take good care of yourself.  I want to be that good example for Boo.

It’s not going to be easy but I am going to try to make more moments that are all about me.  It’s important, and after all I have my permission.

Phase 1:  Day 4…
.

I had a good walk I am up to 12 minutes.

Today was my lower body workout.  2 sets of 15, with only minor fatigue at the end of the second set.  

Water = 56 ounces

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s