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Believing…

Remember when I was talking about expectations and that evil voice inside your head?  Here’s something to think about.  I read an article recently, I don’t remember where and I’ve been looking for a week.  When I find it I will add a link to it here.  Anyway, the article basically said that you believe what you say.  So, if you say to yourself, “I don’t want to go play tennis, I am going to suck at it,” the chances are that you will end up sucking.  According to the article studies have been done showing that athletes that said that they would win, would win more often than those that said they would lose.  The athletes didn’t even have to believe that they would win, they just had to say it to make a difference.  

Believe

We’ve all said something and then added, “If I keep saying it maybe I’ll even start believing it.” Apparently this can actually be a true statement.  I wonder what would happen if we replaced all of our negative thoughts with positive ones.  If we replaced ‘I can’t’ with ‘I can’.  Everyone I talk to has that voice that cuts them down.  How often do people say that they themselves are their worst critic?  I have talked to a lot of writers and they always mention that inner critic that causes problems from the first word of chapter one to the last word on the final page.

I think I am ready to quiet the evil voice.  I am ready to replace all of that insidious verbal poison with the good stuff, the truth.

I am funny and smart, and really creative.  I know I have the potential to be a great writer.  I am an awesome mother and fabulous wife.  I am frickin’ fantastic!.

Phase 1: Day 13
 
I had a good walk Gramma’s neighborhood this afternoon.  I was walking at a slower pace but walked for a little over 14 minutes.  So, I can’t really complain.
 
I got my lower body workout done.  I am doing step ups instead of lunges to avoid too much strain on my knees.  I certainly enjoy step ups in place of the lunges, every thing except the sound.  There is a small thud every time I step up and after a while it makes me a bit batty.
 
Water = 68 ounces.  Really good! 
 
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Mix…

Today was the perfect mix of relaxing and getting things done.  Sully was working from home and Boo and I had an easy school day.  After the chaos of Monday, the productivity of Tuesday and the lackluster of yesterday I was ready for a more balanced day.

Sometimes I watch TV, either shows or commercials and I find myself wondering about other people’s lives.  Do other people really have a clean house everyday?  I mean clean, people stopping by kind of clean, my house is straightened, well, most days if I am in the middle of a project probably not.  So, straightened but not really in condition for guests.  It makes me crazy, I will get everything cleaned up and then the next day it’s a mess again.  The monotony of housework is probably the main problem, I mean, talk about never ending.  Every week I wash the same clothes, sweep the same floors, wipe down the same counters and about a gazillion other things.  I do all of that knowing that I will have to do it again tomorrow or next week.  It’s a bit daunting and a little depressing some days.  Mom hours

I was in Home Depot the other day and this guy looks over at me and says, “You must have taken the day off so you could paint.”  He kind of said it like I was some clueless woman that had no business being in Home Depot.  I don’t know if he meant it like that but it’s sure how it sounded, the woman behind me even groaned.  I replied, “Nope, I am a stay at home mom, I don’t get any days off.”  The paint guy at Home Depot smiled and said, “It’s pretty tough, huh?”  I shrugged, “It’s like any other job, it’s got it’s up and downs.  For the most part it’s good, just no days off.”  He laughed, which I appreciated.  The other guy shut up immediately and stayed out of my way after that.

My hope is that one of these days I will get on a schedule where the house will stay clean with minimum effort.  I am sure I am reaching but I can still hope, right?

 

Phase 1:  Day 12
 
I had another good walk, I walked 0.7 miles in just under 13 minutes.  I am looking forward to adding to my distance.  
 
I am starting to really feel my upper body workout, moving all of those boxes this week are probably adding to my workout.
 
Water = 32 ounces
 
 
 
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Pause…

pause button pngAs productive as I was yesterday, today I was equally lazy.  I don’t know if I would, or should, call it lazy.  Stuff got done, like laundry and some general straightening.  I was sore and tired, when Sully suggested I take it easy I was more than willing to listen.  As soon as he said it I thought, ‘yeah, I need to sit down.’  Listening to Sully was good but listening to myself was even better.  It’s important to pay attention to what’s going on inside and out.  If I am thinking that I need to take it easy then it’s a good idea to take a minute and figure out what’s going on.  It’s one thing if you’re just having a ‘I don’t wanna…’ type of day, I usually just try to power through those days.  On the other hand on a day like today when you are trying to do it all and you think, ‘after I get this done then I am going to go sit’, it’s probably a sign to take it easy.

Even resting I got a few more things done.  I went through a box of paperwork, most of it ended up in the recycling bin.  I got my jewelry making tote out and made myself a pretty ribbon bookmark with charms on the ends for my new journal.   I straightened up my desk and nightstand.  For the most part I made a list of things to do for my Spring Cleaning.

Phase 1: Day 11
 
Since I was resting there was no walk.  Well, Boo and I went to Walmart in the morning so there was some walking.
 
I did one set of my lower body workout, minus the squats and step ups.  I also remembered to stretch.
 
Water = 40 ounces
 
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Productive…

I got so much done today.  Yay!  It’s crazy that I am celebrating this like it’s some huge thing.  After yesterday, I was skeptical about getting anything done.  So glad, that I was wrong.

I got the final Christmas boxes packed up and moved out to the garage.  The kitchen table is still covered in things that need to be packed in our indoor box, candles, pictures, snowglobes and the like.  I can’t tell you how glad and relieved I am to see the boxes out of the Great room.  I love decorating for Christmas, the house looks so cute and cheery. 

This year was tough, not only were we dealing with our first holiday season without Papa, then we also had my brother in law’s medical issues.  I was spending a lot of time making sure Sully was doing ok, this may have helped me more than him.  When I wasn’t worrying about him then I was worrying about my sister and how she was dealing with everything.  Then in the middle of all of that I got the new washer and dryer.  I love the new washer and dryer and I am so thankful to have them.  Preparing for their delivery and dealing with the new machines, added a bit to an already crazy month.  My old washer and dryer set is still sitting in my garage, along with the rolling cart and the shelves that I had on top of mine.  Luckily my nephew should be picking them up next week.

fliptop crate (2)

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So, the garage was cluttered with Christmas boxes, the old washer and dryer and then I added sawhorses and a work table to make the drawing table for Boo.  Weeks later and the garage is still a mess but getting better as I get the Christmas boxes put away.

Here is a picture of boxes waiting to be moved into the garage.  I have quite a few of these flip top crates.  They hold quite a bit and stack well.  

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Phase 1: Day 10…
 
I walked more than 12 minutes today.  Of course, that makes it sound like I am incapable of walking more at one time.  This is more about me allowing myself the time to take a walk.  I have always thought that I didn’t have time to exercise.  I am proving myself wrong everyday.
 
My upper body workout is continuing to be strong.  I added upright row and I can really feel it in my shoulders, particularly in the front of my deltoids.  I think I will definitely see some improvement in the shape of my shoulders sooner rather than later.
 
Water = 32 ounces
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Chaos…

Today had moments of complete chaos.  There was no huge thing that caused an issue but many little things that added up to a frustrating day.

Here is an email to Sully after he asked how I was doing.

“I am trying to get the last of the Christmas decorations packed up but I need ziploc bags.  The bags are with the stuff that got thrown in the laundry area.  I can’t get to it because all of the decorative boxes are stacked in there.  The boxes are stacked in there because the hamper thing* is all wobbly.  The hamper is wobbly because the people that made it used bolts instead of wood screws and so you can’t really tighten the bolts to anything.  I wanted to use ‘L’ brackets which I couldn’t find.  After a half hour of searching I finally found a pack of them. 
I put them on and it helped a lot but the hamper is still wobbly.  It needs another set of brackets attaching the crossbars to the sides to stop the lateral wobble.  I have another pack of brackets but they are missing now too.   We are working on school but the hobby room* is a mess.  I had to clear off the sewing table for Boo to do school there.  I cleared of Foley’s crate to put the sweats and shirts that I have to work on for Boo’s pjs.  Meanwhile, the Christmas stuff is still all over the place because I needed those stupid bags.  Ahhhhh!

I ended the email with, “It’s funny but frustrating.  I will be ok, just frazzled.”

That was in the morning, here is another email from the afternoon.

Sorry.  I’ve been dealing with more of the same stuff today but now the smoke detectors are going off.   That means I will have to stop at Home Depot before Boo’s dance class to buy batteries.   LaLa called and has been texting.  Oh, and get this, I was trying to set up the Paypal account but I can’t because I don’t have the account number for the new savings.  Every paper I have only has the last four digits on it.  I am going to have to go to a branch to get the full account number.  I will feel like a total airhead doing that.  I’ve got a bandage on my index finger* so texting is difficult and my phone is locked so the screen won’t turn.  I can’t figure out where to go to fix it.  By itself, none of these things are a big deal but altogether with the stuff from this morning just make me feel like screaming.
 
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So, yeah, none of these things are huge issues.  Each one individually would be annoying but not a big deal.  Except maybe the smoke detectors going off that is always a pain.  I had to bring in the ladder to unplug a couple of them until I could get new batteries.  

There were a couple of points there that I thought screaming was my only option.  Luckily I was able to take a step back, followed by a deep breath and then I was able to start handling things one by one.  Once I started getting things taken care of, then I didn’t feel so overwhelmed.  It’s always good to break things down into smaller steps.  It allows you to put it all in perspective.  One thing at a time, then move on to the next thing.

I am happy to report that after the initial ‘L’ brackets were installed I was able to stack the decorative boxes back on the hamper frame.  Boo and I were able to get schoolwork done with out too much hassle.  I was able to pack up the boxes of Christmas decorations and move them into the garage (There’s still more to do *sigh*).  I bought batteries at Home Depot and I will install them tomorrow.  I found the information about the savings account.  My finger is almost healed thanks to the bandage.  I fixed my phone, thank you to Google for help finding the answer.

*Notes*

Hamper thing = It has a wood frame with a off white canvas bag that slides out on a frame.  We use it for kitchen towels and other household type linens to be washed.  It sits at the end of our hallway in front of the linen closet.

Hobby room = The third bedroom; Sully’s hobby room, my craft closet and Boo’s school room.

Index finger = It’s been really cold and dry here.  The dryness coupled with the dust of the crates and decorations the end of my index finger split.  It was tiny like a paper cut and oddly enough it hurt as bad a paper cut.  I put some triple antibiotic cream covered it  with gauze and then wrapped some tape on it.  Of course then the end of my finger was like three times as big, it looked like a cartoon.  I am only telling you this so you understand why texting was a pain.

Phase 1: Day 9…
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The day was chaotic and I didn’t  have the chance to walk.  Although I did map our trek through Home Depot and we walked 0.2 miles.  So that’s something.

Lower body workout  went well, I added leg curls and leg extensions.  I decided to do just one set of 15 repetitions, just to get into the new routine.

Water = 32 ounces.  It’s really cold today, with the cold and the chaos I didn’t get to drink much water.  I definitely need to be better about this tomorrow.