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I had one job…

I am sorry that it’s been so long since I have posted anything.  And while I am sure that no one was losing any sleep wondering when I would post next, I know that posting here is important to me and I need to work on that.

SunflowersAnyway, things have been busy and crazy and at times, crazy busy.  At the end of March, we had the opportunity to switch jobs.  It was a sudden and unexpected opportunity and we were a bit freaked out when it happened but apparently the Universe has a plan for us.  The first two weeks of April was all about the interview process for Sully and everything else fell by the wayside and yes, that includes my writing.  Once he was back to work I had a little bit of a freak out, which, in a way, is kind of normal for me.  In an emergency situation, I am the person who is totally calm and gets everything under control, then when everything is settled and every one is ok again, I fall apart.  Of course, this time I kind of did it in steps, when he first went back to work I kept myself super busy doing a pretty thorough cleaning of the house, I even cleaned windows.  I know, crazy, right?  He was in training for four weeks and then moved to his permanent position, that’s when I suddenly just shut down.  It took me a couple of days to figure out that I’d been mentally holding my breath until he was out of training.  It was unnecessary, training wasn’t a graded sort of thing and he was doing great anyhow.  He’s still doing great, he’s won several of the contests that have been held and he seems to be on track to be one of the top people in their group.  The best part is that he loves his job which makes me really happy because as long as he was at his previous job he absolutely hated it, and that was from day one, so this is huge.  Of course, his happiness at work has shed light on the fact that I haven’t been writing and I feel decidedly unhappy and unfulfilled about that.

I actually did get some writing done right after he started the new job.  I was continuing my rewrites and slowly starting to gather information about self publishing.  At the beginning, I was mulling over whether I would use my name or use a pseudonym.  I had planned on starting a blog/webpage with that name just to get a head start on everything.  Since I hadn’t decided on the name part I figured I could use the town from my books as the blog title, in some form or another.  I thought up some ideas and did my usual Google searches to make sure I wasn’t copying something that was already out there.  Unfortunately, my Google searches brought up a series of recently published books from Harlequin using the same name.  That was really disappointing, I wrote that first book in 2009 so I am fairly invested in my imaginary town.  It just got worse because, of course, I blamed myself for not getting the rewrites done and the book finished.  Never mind the logic of the real life situation with terminally ill relatives and everything else going on.  Anyway, it really got to me, it took me a week to deal with that and then another week or so to get myself to move on.  Finally, after some research and more Google searches I decided on a new town name.  I set up a blog for it, not that I’ve done much with it but it’s set up and I am planning to buy the domain name at some point.  I figure at least it’s out there that the new name is already a part of a series of books.  I’ll write more about it here once I get the site up and running with regular posts.

So, now it’s June, the middle of June even, and I was supposed to be done with my rewrites already and I am not even remotely close to being done.  It’s ironic, the most recent piece of writing advice I’ve gotten was that the important thing is the writing, the more you write the better you get and the more books you sell.  I just want to scream, because it was the only thing I didn’t do.  It’s very disappointing but I am trying to tell myself that I can’t change what has already happened.  I can only go forward from here.  Hopefully, I will get my butt in the chair this week and get back to it.

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying summer.  Here in Arizona it’s all about staying out of the heat.  So keep cool everyone!