Listening

I saw this quote on Facebook today and it really made me think.

Live forIt’s an incredible quote and it relates so much to something I was talking about earlier this week that I can’t help but think I need to pay attention to what the universe is trying to say. The conversation was about everyday life, and that I’ve gotten to the point that I feel like I need more goals than getting the laundry done. I feel a bit ridiculous complaining, I have a great home life. Cap is truly my best friend, loving, responsible, supportive, helpful, (I could go on) and the best part?  He makes me laugh.  I am just as blessed with Scarlet, she is smart, caring, a great artist and we have some great conversations. I am completely aware of how lucky I am, hence the guilty stirrings that surface when I get whiny.

Having said all of that, it’s clear that I feel that there is something more for me to do. Anyone who has read a few of my posts knows that I am a writer, or at least, I am attempting to be a writer. Here’s where the quote factors in, what’s holding me back?  What’s keeping me from living fully?  From being that writer that I really dream of being. I was pretty sure that I already had the answers, fear and time.  Those things can be dealt with though.  The questions have been running through my head all night, and I think I’ve finally cornered the problem.  My procrastination with writing is fueled by doubt and disappointment.  In the past, I’ve set deadlines and made plans but outside forces have often interfered, leaving me disappointed and doubtful that I’ll ever actually reach my goals.  I call myself a writer but I treat my writing like a hobby.  Definitely not good.

Clearly, I need to make some changes. This weekend I am going to sit down and look at our schedules and see where I can fit in some designated “office hours”.  It’s time to get serious about this, I love to write, I enjoy the stories that I am working on.  Sometimes I wake up in the morning and immediately think of what’s going on in my current story, excited about what happens next.  I guess, I need to trust that more, follow that joy and excitement.  And just so we all know I am being realistic, I also know that writing isn’t all happy times, there are days that I’ll be slogging through just to get to the end of the scene or chapter.  I am ok with that though, because the fun days will make it worth it.  I just have to keep up with it so that I make it through to the fun parts.

So, I’ll be working on my writing schedule and oh, maybe, actually writing this next week. Also, I am trying to remember to put only one space after a period at the end of sentence.  I remember about every third sentence, hopefully I’ll be quick to adapt.

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