I’ve felt frazzled all week and to be honest the week wasn’t that bad. Boo was getting over her cold and Sully ended up with an ear infection. I am not thrilled about either of them being sick but it’s not the end of the world either. Those two things along with the several other annoying things that happened this week really should not have bummed me out as much as I have been this week.
Today, I was in the car with my sister and I felt like I was about to come out of my skin. After a few moments I looked at her and said, “Are you extremely stressed out?” She said yes, and that she’s so upset about everything going on with her husband. I told her that she needed to let it go because I felt like I was coming apart. “I don’t know if I want to cry, puke or slap someone,” I told her, leaving out the part where I really wanted to slap her. It would have been completely uncalled for but I still think it would have made me feel better.
This sensitivity thing, where I pick up on other people’s feelings, is not a new thing. I’ve done it since I was a kid, I didn’t really understand it then, not that I really understand it now. It was kind of freaky when I was a kid and I tried to ignore it as much as possible. As I got older I’ve found it more and more difficult to ignore. It seems like the days that I ignore it end up being like today where I end up extremely agitated and emotional.
When I was in college I remember talking to my dad about it. I had just come back from visiting a friend from out of state and I was telling him how I had discovered that I didn’t really like to fly. In our conversation, I started picking apart what I meant. It wasn’t a fear of flying or of heights, or the length of the flight. It wasn’t being stuck in our seats or the tiny restroom. There weren’t any obnoxious people sitting around me or a crying baby on the flight. I finally got around to talking about the plane being full and the constant buzzing. After talking a bit more I realized the buzzing sound wasn’t the plane or people talking but it was all of the emotions of the people on the plane. Right away he says, “You’re like a big satellite. You collect all of these emotions that people are sending out.” He said that he’d seen me doing that since I was a kid. It was nice to hear, I kind of thought I was a bit nutty.
This all probably does sound a bit nutty. I am not saying I am psychic or that I have secret powers. I am not Jean Grey, I can’t read your mind or move objects with mine. I’d love to move objects with my mind, if I could. I mean honestly I think that would be the most awesome power. I have no desire to read your mind though, you can keep your pervy thoughts to yourself, thank you very much.
Also, I just discovered that this is a thing that other people experience, it’s normal not a disorder. I am a highly sensitive person, which anyone that knows me and has seen me cry at commercials or some other random thing already knows. When I was a kid I was told I was ‘too’ sensitive, that I needed to toughen up. I did toughen up and I am still highly sensitive. I am ok with that.
Check out Dr. Elaine Aron’s website to get more information on being highly sensitive. If you are wondering if you might be highly sensitive there is a self-test here. You can also check out the November 2012 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, for a small article and a great version of the test. This test gathers your answers to give you a result along with some helpful information.
Phase 2: Day 13
I still haven’t walked. I need to get back to it soon, hopefully this weekend.
I’ve been keeping up with my strength exercises. My upper body workout is going really well, I am now doing three sets of 12 repetitions. I added tricep dips this week.
My morning and night routines are actually going really well.