This is a good reminder and I will be repeating it as often as necessary. I’ve got a lot going on this week and it would be easy to just let it all go. I am going to stay on track even though I’d much rather build a blanket fort and eat Nilla wafers.
I haven’t watched the television coverage* of the tornado damage in Oklahoma but I’ve seen some photos and it’s unimaginable. My heart goes out to all of the people affected by the devastation.
I have family in Oklahoma and got a text about five hours after they had gone into the cellar. They were safe and sound but only a mile from the path of the tornado, they have friends that lost their homes. I saw the footage taken by the KFC employee on his cell phone, seriously scary stuff. Stay safe everyone!
*I try not to watch television coverage, it becomes addicting for me. In my moment of wanting to help and feeling helpless because I am too far away to actually aid anyone I end up watching hours and hours of coverage. In this age of 24 hour news, it’s not good, it causes me anxiety to watch everything over and over again and still feel helpless.
Today was one of those days that actually went pretty well. We went out to lunch and did some browsing at Pier 1 and Michael’s. We relaxed and did some chatting. Then things got annoying. I am not going to go into it here but it was annoying and it threatened to ruin my day.
Luckily, I was able to stop and take a deep breath. It would have been easy to give in to the frustration but I made the decision to let it go. There’s not a lot I can control when it comes to other people but I can control whether they ruin my day. I chose to let go of the negativity and focus on the positive. I griped for a few minutes then pushed it aside and had a great night.
My hope is that I can continue to feel in control of these situations. I’ve spent too long feeling like I was responsible for everyone else and how they were feeling without giving much thought to how I was feeling. That situation wears on you after a while, and it isn’t very helpful to anyone really. It’s just made a few people think that they can do anything that they want and I will just go along with it so that I don’t make waves. This has become a problem because I don’t really care. I mean I still don’t want to make waves but if it happens then oh well. I am just not going to make waves for the sake of being assertive or snotty. I’ve been there for other people now it’s time for me to ‘be there’ for me. I am going to do my best to help people but my life comes first, Boo and Sully come first, and then everyone and everything else. It should be interesting to see how this all turns out.
Today, I am trying to get back to a point of peace and calm. I am thankful after this week, I’ve felt so weary. At least now I have a better understanding of my physical reaction to the last couple of years. I ran some errands this morning and then spent the rest of the day relaxing. While I was hanging out I got a few things done. I matted, framed and hung up an art print that I’ve had for about a year. Later, I cleared off my nightstand and part of my desk.
For the most part though, I rested and let my brain work through things. After a while, I could feel myself relax and slowly let things go. I was able untangle some of the chaos in my head. Getting rid of the stress was a lot easier once I was able to separate all of the jumbled up emotions. I am finally realizing that hanging on to emotions that aren’t my own will not help anyone. I can’t help anyone else if I am overwhelmed and exhausted. I’ve got my own emotions to deal with which is hard enough, without the added weight of stress and worry that is not my own.
Now I need to take the time to let everything level out. I can usually work this stuff out by keeping myself busy doing mundane tasks. I find that while I wash dishes, fold laundry or other similar tasks my mind can wander along and unravel the mess in my head. I did well today resting and doing the little bit of straightening. I think I did some of the brain work last night while I was reading up on highly sensitive people. I will have to do more research to see how I can more effectively process all of the incoming information without sacrificing my emotional or physical health.
Week 3 starts tomorrow, I am really hoping to get back to my daily walks. I enjoy the walks more than just the exercise, they are good for my brain too. Ten minutes of quiet time for me and my mind. Here’s hoping Week 3 is great.
Phase 2: Day 14 I rested so no walk. I mean, I planned on walking but resting was apparently more important. I am doing really well with my strength exercises. Well, I am doing really well in the sense that I am doing them everyday, half the time though I don’t remember to do them until it’s nearly midnight. Perhaps in the next 3 week section I will set a time to workout, an earlier time would probably be a good thing. My morning and night routines are going great. I don’t know if I am necessarily getting more sleep with everyone else being sick and all of the phone calls. I am trying though.
Today I am taking my cue from another blog. I’ve mentioned before that I read the awesome blog Reinventing Fabulous written by the incredible authors, Jennifer Crusie, Lani Diane Rich and Anne Stuart (Krissie). Every Wednesday Lani posts a short entry of amazing insight . It’s WTF Wednesday, sometimes the F is for fabulous and sometimes it’s for the other F word. Everyone can talk about the fab or f*%$*d stuff in their lives.
Today her post was entitled, Yes. Here is what she says…“In improv, there’s a Yes, And Rule. Which means, that whenever someone proposes anything in the fiction, no matter how preposterous, your role is to accept that reality, and then add something new to it. No shuts things down; no stops all movement. Yes keeps things going, and And brings them somewhere new.”
This is so true. We’ve all had conversations with people that have said no even before we’ve finished speaking. Does anyone still feel like talking after that? Definitely not me, I’d have spun around and left the room at that point…well, most of the time anyway. Saying no effectively ends any attempt at conversation.
There are times, of course, when you want to shut down the conversation, like when Boo is telling me how hungry she is 3o minutes before dinnertime and that one cookie will really help. Uhmmm, no, you had lunch at a reasonable hour (and most likely a snack in the afternoon) you can wait the half hour until dinner is ready. Or with door to door salespeople. I have a note on the door that reads “No soliciting of any kind. Thank you.” I still get people ringing the doorbell and knocking. I don’t answer the door unless I know someone is stopping by but occasionally a salesperson will catch me heading to the mailbox or watering the flowers. I try to be polite but sometimes I just end up saying ‘no’ over and over until they leave.
The important thing is to say yes to keep the good things moving along. Sometimes you have to say yes by doing something new or scary. That isn’t always easy and it can take a lot of courage to take that first step. Sometimes you just have to hold your breath and close your eyes and just go. I am terrible about this but I try to think of what I would say to Boo or Sully or Faith. I would tell them to channel their inner warrior. Several months ago I had a similar conversation with my niece who was getting ready to start community college and was a bit nervous about driving on the freeway. She’s a great driver but her commute involved three different freeways and all during rush hour traffic. I told her to channel Princess Leia (Star Wars) or Zoe (Firefly) or (insert my niece’s suggestion here, I don’t remember). Do you think any of these strong women would be daunted by traffic? They had a job to do and they would overcome any obstacle to get where they needed to go. It worked, my niece wasn’t nervous and she got to and from school without any issues.
Hopefully, I will be able to channel my inner warrior and say yes. This year is full of opportunities and I can’t wait to see what I can do.Phase 1: Day 18 I had a pretty good walk, a little over 13 minutes and 0.7 miles. I started off too fast and ended up with the shin pain midway through my walk. At some point I am hoping that I find the right stride so I can just walk because this is making me crazy. I only did one set of my lower body workout because I am starting to feel not good. I really don’t want to be sick and I am doing anything and everything I can to get enough rest and take care of myself . Hopefully, I will be less susceptible to catching whatever is going around. Water = 44 ounces
Another week is done, Week 2 of Phase 1 went really well. I walked over 4 miles over seven days and six walks. I did my strength exercises Monday thru Saturday adding one new exercise to my routines. I am quite excited that today is my day off from my exercises. My upper body exercises were making me sore. I have until Tuesday to recover.
I am happy to say that I am now entering Week 3. It’s in this week where I find that I will either stick with something or I will inexplicably drop the ball. I don’t understand it myself but it’s happened more than once. I have started the EA Sports Active 3o Day Challenge several times. It really only has 20 days of exercises because there are set rest days within the challenge. I have gotten to exercise day 17 or 18 and then just stopped. The reasons are varied but mostly it came down to the fact that I simply lost my motivation. I’d miss a day and try to make it up and then I’d miss another day. That day would stretch into two and then suddenly I would be completely off track.
This time I am not going to let that happen. I have a plan and I am going to stick with it. I’ve stayed on track for 14 days and I only have 7 days left. That’s six days of walking, three days of upper body workouts and three days of lower body workouts. I can do that, right? When you break it down like that it doesn’t seem like that hard of a thing to do. It doesn’t seem like it to me. I can ignore the fact that after this week is over I fully intend to keep walking and doing my strength exercises. Right now, all that is important is that I reach my three week goal. That I make these activities habit, part of my daily life, as integral to my day as taking a shower or feeding the dog.
This is the point of transition, changing these activities from ideas I want to do and have to remind myself to do into activities that I just do because they need to be done. I don’t know why it’s so hard to convince myself to take care of me. I’ll spend time taking care of the bunnies or other critters in the house, I would think it’d be okay to spend equal time on me. I am ready to finish out this week and this first three week ‘phase’ strong.Phase 1: Day 15 I had a good walk. I’ve been getting pain in my shins midway through my walk. I did some online research and it seems that power walking with long strides can cause this. I am doing some extra stretching and my strength exercises to help my muscles adapt quicker. In the meantime, I am going to walk a more even pace and shoot for about 12 minutes and 0.7 miles. I did a pretty good job, I was on my last 300 yards or so when I felt my shins start to think about hurting. I shortened my stride and was able to finish my walk without it getting out of hand. No workout today but I did get an extended stretching session in before bedtime. I was really ready for a day off from the strength exercises. Water = 48 ounces –> I seriously need to be better about drinking enough water everyday. I am now to the point that I can tell the next day whether I had enough water the previous day. Who knew I’d ever become one of those people. 🙂
Remember when I was talking about expectations and that evil voice inside your head? Here’s something to think about. I read an article recently, I don’t remember where and I’ve been looking for a week. When I find it I will add a link to it here. Anyway, the article basically said that you believe what you say. So, if you say to yourself, “I don’t want to go play tennis, I am going to suck at it,” the chances are that you will end up sucking. According to the article studies have been done showing that athletes that said that they would win, would win more often than those that said they would lose. The athletes didn’t even have to believe that they would win, they just had to say it to make a difference.
We’ve all said something and then added, “If I keep saying it maybe I’ll even start believing it.” Apparently this can actually be a true statement. I wonder what would happen if we replaced all of our negative thoughts with positive ones. If we replaced ‘I can’t’ with ‘I can’. Everyone I talk to has that voice that cuts them down. How often do people say that they themselves are their worst critic? I have talked to a lot of writers and they always mention that inner critic that causes problems from the first word of chapter one to the last word on the final page.
I think I am ready to quiet the evil voice. I am ready to replace all of that insidious verbal poison with the good stuff, the truth.
I am funny and smart, and really creative. I know I have the potential to be a great writer. I am an awesome mother and fabulous wife. I am frickin’ fantastic!.Phase 1: Day 13 I had a good walk Gramma’s neighborhood this afternoon. I was walking at a slower pace but walked for a little over 14 minutes. So, I can’t really complain. I got my lower body workout done. I am doing step ups instead of lunges to avoid too much strain on my knees. I certainly enjoy step ups in place of the lunges, every thing except the sound. There is a small thud every time I step up and after a while it makes me a bit batty. Water = 68 ounces. Really good!