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Chaos…

Today had moments of complete chaos.  There was no huge thing that caused an issue but many little things that added up to a frustrating day.

Here is an email to Sully after he asked how I was doing.

“I am trying to get the last of the Christmas decorations packed up but I need ziploc bags.  The bags are with the stuff that got thrown in the laundry area.  I can’t get to it because all of the decorative boxes are stacked in there.  The boxes are stacked in there because the hamper thing* is all wobbly.  The hamper is wobbly because the people that made it used bolts instead of wood screws and so you can’t really tighten the bolts to anything.  I wanted to use ‘L’ brackets which I couldn’t find.  After a half hour of searching I finally found a pack of them. 
I put them on and it helped a lot but the hamper is still wobbly.  It needs another set of brackets attaching the crossbars to the sides to stop the lateral wobble.  I have another pack of brackets but they are missing now too.   We are working on school but the hobby room* is a mess.  I had to clear off the sewing table for Boo to do school there.  I cleared of Foley’s crate to put the sweats and shirts that I have to work on for Boo’s pjs.  Meanwhile, the Christmas stuff is still all over the place because I needed those stupid bags.  Ahhhhh!

I ended the email with, “It’s funny but frustrating.  I will be ok, just frazzled.”

That was in the morning, here is another email from the afternoon.

Sorry.  I’ve been dealing with more of the same stuff today but now the smoke detectors are going off.   That means I will have to stop at Home Depot before Boo’s dance class to buy batteries.   LaLa called and has been texting.  Oh, and get this, I was trying to set up the Paypal account but I can’t because I don’t have the account number for the new savings.  Every paper I have only has the last four digits on it.  I am going to have to go to a branch to get the full account number.  I will feel like a total airhead doing that.  I’ve got a bandage on my index finger* so texting is difficult and my phone is locked so the screen won’t turn.  I can’t figure out where to go to fix it.  By itself, none of these things are a big deal but altogether with the stuff from this morning just make me feel like screaming.
 
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So, yeah, none of these things are huge issues.  Each one individually would be annoying but not a big deal.  Except maybe the smoke detectors going off that is always a pain.  I had to bring in the ladder to unplug a couple of them until I could get new batteries.  

There were a couple of points there that I thought screaming was my only option.  Luckily I was able to take a step back, followed by a deep breath and then I was able to start handling things one by one.  Once I started getting things taken care of, then I didn’t feel so overwhelmed.  It’s always good to break things down into smaller steps.  It allows you to put it all in perspective.  One thing at a time, then move on to the next thing.

I am happy to report that after the initial ‘L’ brackets were installed I was able to stack the decorative boxes back on the hamper frame.  Boo and I were able to get schoolwork done with out too much hassle.  I was able to pack up the boxes of Christmas decorations and move them into the garage (There’s still more to do *sigh*).  I bought batteries at Home Depot and I will install them tomorrow.  I found the information about the savings account.  My finger is almost healed thanks to the bandage.  I fixed my phone, thank you to Google for help finding the answer.

*Notes*

Hamper thing = It has a wood frame with a off white canvas bag that slides out on a frame.  We use it for kitchen towels and other household type linens to be washed.  It sits at the end of our hallway in front of the linen closet.

Hobby room = The third bedroom; Sully’s hobby room, my craft closet and Boo’s school room.

Index finger = It’s been really cold and dry here.  The dryness coupled with the dust of the crates and decorations the end of my index finger split.  It was tiny like a paper cut and oddly enough it hurt as bad a paper cut.  I put some triple antibiotic cream covered it  with gauze and then wrapped some tape on it.  Of course then the end of my finger was like three times as big, it looked like a cartoon.  I am only telling you this so you understand why texting was a pain.

Phase 1: Day 9…
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The day was chaotic and I didn’t  have the chance to walk.  Although I did map our trek through Home Depot and we walked 0.2 miles.  So that’s something.

Lower body workout  went well, I added leg curls and leg extensions.  I decided to do just one set of 15 repetitions, just to get into the new routine.

Water = 32 ounces.  It’s really cold today, with the cold and the chaos I didn’t get to drink much water.  I definitely need to be better about this tomorrow.

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Coping…

I spent today packing up Christmas decorations and watching football.  Overall, the day was somewhat disappointing.  I am still not done with the decorations and the Broncos lost in overtime to the Ravens.

In all honesty, the Christmas decorations are mostly packed.  I have a lot of crates that are ready to be moved into the garage.  It was dark by the time the game was over.  I will move them first thing in the morning.  After that I have to pack up the inside decorations and the large items that get packed in the big zippered bags.

The zippered bags are awesome.  I have three of these large square bags.  I use these to pack small Christmas trees, baskets, garlands, and other decorations that are too big or oddly shaped to go in the crates.

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This cube is super cool too and it is amazingly roomy.  In the cube, I can fit a large basket filled with a floral arrangement, a window decoration, plastic placemats, a hanging card holder, two large grapevine wreaths, a medium straw wreath,  and two small straw wreaths.
I need to get another storage cube, I love how much I can get into it.
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As for the Broncos, I am really bummed.  It was a great season and Peyton Manning deserved to get farther into the playoffs.  I keep trying to look at the silver lining, Peyton didn’t play at all last year and for him to get his team this far into the playoffs is amazing. I guess at this point all I can do is hope for a better season next year.  Positive thoughts, right?!
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I feel that I should add that although I titled this post “Coping” I am being somewhat sarcastic.  I am fully aware that dealing holiday decorations and losing a football games aren’t life disasters.  After everything that happened in 2012, I am thankful for what I have and I feel truly blessed.  I was just bummed and wanted to whine.  That is all.  🙂
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Phase 1:  Day 7…
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So between packing boxes and yelling at the TV I forgot to walk. I was already pretty bummed and realizing that I didn’t take my walk didn’t help my mood at all.  I suppose walking six days out of seven is a great improvement to zero days out of seven.
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Upper body workout –  this was also completely forgotten.  Luckily I can do these on Sunday.  I don’t plan anything but more intense stretching so that it can be an overflow day.  I can catch up on any strength workouts to finish the week off.
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Water = 48 ounces
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Permission…

I am often surprised after finishing a project. Usually it’s a project that I have put off for months, possibly years.  My surprise comes from how quick and easy the project ended up being.  I put off making a cornice box over our kitchen window for the longest time and it took less than an hour to make.  It took longer to sew the valance for the cornice box.  

There have been several other projects that have gone the same way.  I cut a cat door into the garage and moved the litter boxes out of the house.  We had those weird sliding doors in the bedrooms that overlapped cutting off easy access to that middle part of the garage, I removed them in Boo’s room and put up a curtain.  I ended up doing the same in the third bedroom.  It really helped, it was much easier to get into the closet and it made the room look bigger.  I could name a few other projects but that’s not the point.

The point is that I have put off taking care of me for far too long.  Just like these projects I have seen myself as a project that was overwhelming.  The “me” project was going to take too long.  It’s too involved.  There’s no foreseeable end.   Too much time and effort.  I need to focus on Sully, Boo, or (insert name here).   There are so many more important things that I need to fix first.

I had thought of all of the excuses to not take care of me.  This year I am thinking about all of the reasons that I should take care of me.  It’s not overwhelming, I can make small changes along the way.  There is no time limit, I am a work in progress.  I need to take care of me so that I can help everyone else.  The hardest… I am important, my well being is important not only to me but to everyone around me.

It was easy to write those reasons but it will take some time before they sink in.  I will continue to repeat them to myself until I believe it.  It is clear to me that it will be a struggle some days.  I am giving myself permission to focus on myself.  I am starting to realize that a better me will be more helpful to Boo and Sully.  It makes sense that a healthier, stronger and more well rested me would be better prepared to face the challenges in our lives.

I’ve realized this past year that I really want to make this change not only for me but also for Boo.  I watched my mom put everyone ahead of herself time and time again.  I understand it and of course, I see myself doing it now.  The problem is that over time she became fairly bitter about it.  The other side effect of her ignoring her needs is that she never went to the doctor and her health suffered.  I want Boo to learn that it’s important to take good care of yourself.  I want to be that good example for Boo.

It’s not going to be easy but I am going to try to make more moments that are all about me.  It’s important, and after all I have my permission.

Phase 1:  Day 4…
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I had a good walk I am up to 12 minutes.

Today was my lower body workout.  2 sets of 15, with only minor fatigue at the end of the second set.  

Water = 56 ounces

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51 weeks…

I have mentioned it here and have been talking with a friend about how it takes 21 days to make something a habit.  It doesn’t matter what it is, good or bad, 21 days is pretty much the time for your brain to latch on to something and make it routine.

Every new year we hear a lot of talk about people either making resolutions or breaking resolutions.   I’ve already mentioned that I am not making resolutions but that I have a plan.  Well, part of my plan is to change how I do things.  It’s not a big stretch to think that making good habits is the first step to real change.

I did a quick check of the calendar and discovered that there are 51 weeks left in 2013, divided by three that’s 17 good habit forming sections. I am going to make a list of 17 new and improved habits that I want to develop this year.   This list will be a work in progress as the year goes on.  

Tomorrow I will start the first three week time period.  I will call them phases, mostly because that sounds groovy and kind of sci fi-ish.  I will let you know how it goes.

51

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Bye, bye…

I will be happy when 2012 is over, it was tough year all around.  It started off rough with Papa’s medical issues, worsened as his struggle became too much and he went into hospice.   In June, one of our dogs passed, followed by my 2o year old cat in October, and my sweet Labrador, Hunter the next month.   In the same week that we lost Hunter my sister’s husband had a stroke and has been hospitalized since.  

There have been good times in between, a trip to San Diego, a few trips to Disneyland, movies, birthdays, hanging out with friends, chatting on Facebook…  I am thankful for these moments and will never forget how they got me through the year.

Today, I am thinking about 2012, the good parts and the bad parts.  I’ve decided that I will keep what I have learned but I am letting go of the stress, guilt, depression, sadness, anger and regret and letting it fly away.

Bye 2012

I am looking forward to a fresh start.  I have a good feeling about 2013.  🙂

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Go Figure…

When I first injured my foot I did some online research, that is how I discovered that it was a high ankle sprain.  I also got some information on treatment and recovery.  Pretty much everything I read claimed that it would take at least six weeks for it to heal.  I’ve sprained my ankle before and it’s taken only about 10 to 14 days to heal.  There might be some residual effects as my ankle strengthened but six weeks just seemed ridiculous.

Today was the first day that I didn’t wear my ankle brace all day and I did pretty well.  We walked all over Costco and then later Sam’s Club because we forgot to look for the gingerbread house at Costco.  Later, I put the brace on briefly while moving Christmas boxes out to Sully’s mom’s garage.  I was concerned about negotiating that step down into the garage while pulling a two wheel dollie.   I took it off afterward though and had no significant issues.  Once getting into the car I bent my ankle a bit and felt a twinge.

I was glad I was that I was finally feeling like my ankle was healing.  The ankle brace wasn’t an issue except when I was wearing shoes.  I mostly wear Crocs around the house and I didn’t have a lot of problems with the brace interfering with them.  My running shoes though were another matter, the shoes were not comfortable at all with the brace on.  I ended up wearing my hiking boots everywhere, although I think that turned out to be a really good idea.  The boots gave me extra support and didn’t interfere with the brace at all.  I’ll probably still keep the brace handy in case I am doing anything that might cause a relapse.

Of course, looking at the calendar I find that the six week prognosis is spot on and not ridiculous in the least.  Go figure…

running shoes

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NaNo success…

Winner-180x180

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I finally got my 50,000 words.  It wasn’t easy given the vacation, the holiday and the events of this week.  My word count topped out at 52,053, and I am quite positive that about 10,000 of it is mush but at least I worked through it and got to 50K.


My goal now is to stay with it.  I’ll need to go back and re-edit the mush part so that I can continue on and get the rest of the re-writes and edits done.  I’d like to get a proof copy by March so that I can do any last minute editing before June the deadline for getting my five free copies of the finished book.

It’s time for me to get a move on with all of this.  I’ve got these four books to finish, well five now, plus I have a few other ideas that I need to work on.   I am going to work hard through December so that I can be already on the move when the New Year starts.